MDMA

DOSE:

1 capsl oral MDMA (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 155 lb

I wish to share my own story with MDMA. This is a drug that stands alone in my mind and in my life for the profound impact it had, far more so than any other. It�s quite a long and detailed story, so apologies in advance if it drags on at times, but I really do feel that everything I have written is purposeful and necessary to properly depict my experiences. I�d also like to note before I begin that early in my use I was often careless and did not explicitly test the drugs that I took, relying mainly on the opinions of others I took it with who were far more experienced than I as confirmation. Later on I became more vigilant and began testing each batch myself, such that I can conclude with a reasonable degree of certainty that at least the vast majority of what I took was indeed MDMA. With all that in mind, here goes.

Let's rewind about 5 years. At the time I was still very much a novice when it came to drug use. I had gotten drunk a handful times and smoked weed on many occasions, but besides a couple of experimental doses of DXM, this was the extent of my drug use. Not to say that I wasn't interested, in fact very much the opposite, for the previous months I had had almost an obsessive interest with drugs. I used to spend hours upon hours reading trip reports, from the positive first times to the bad trips to the cycles of addiction for nearly any drug I could think of. I wasn't hooked on drugs; I was hooked on the idea of them. The fact that such a minuscule amount of basic chemistry could fundamentally alter our entire perception of the world was more than intriguing, it was almost mystical in a sense, supernatural. This was particularly true for hallucinogens, ranging from the colorful enlightenment of classic psychedelics to the dark and chilling stories of deliriant-induced psychosis. The more I read, the more immersed I became. I used to search any random question about any drug that popped into my head, and more often than not ended up reading a 5 year old thread discussing the question I (and apparently others) were wondering about.

Anyway, as I became more informed and interested through my research, I began to play around with the idea of taking it to a more personal level: my own experimentation. Although I was still interested in the non-hallucinogenic drugs like meth and opiates from a journalistic standpoint, I had too much aversion to the health risks and addictive qualities to want to try any of them for myself. And frankly, the consistency of the effects came off as just a little boring and ultimately unrewarding. I was all about the enlightenment and 'mind expansion' of hallucinogens, opening new doors of perception and creating lasting memories. Only issue was that I had very few friends who were into drugs beyond alcohol and weed, and being inexperienced as I was did not yet possess the knowledge of how to go about finding them. So, I took the easiest solution first and tried DXM (after pouring over the DXM FAQ for many hours). It was only a second plateau dose but it was definitely a step up, and further enticed my desire to experiment further.

So now we've arrived at what this whole story is about: MDMA. As with the other drugs, I had done plenty of research and read many reports of MDMA usage prior to my own experimentation. What was particularly noticeable to me was that the drug seemed to have fairly unique effects, being both incredibly euphoric as well as hallucinogenic (although clearly not to the same degree as psychedelics). The other interesting thing was that very few people seemed to have negative experiences from it, in fact nearly every first time report I read indicated it was one of the most magical experiences of their lives. Months before I ended up trying it for the first time, and even before my first DXM trip, I had already vaguely decided that MDMA would be a good way to introduce myself to the world of hallucinogenic substances while minimizing the chances of having a bad trip.

Which brings us to the day that it all came together. I had gone to see my girlfriend (also a drug novice) for the weekend who had just moved in with one of her friends from the university. We didn't have much planned for that weekend, probably just going to watch TV and chill. But as it turned out, her roommate was going to a rave with her boyfriend, and they informed us they were planning to 'roll' (I had never heard this term before then) and asked us if we'd like to come along. Immediately I knew this was the opportunity I had been waiting for, and at a 'rave' no less, the stereotypical MDMA playground. I wasn't much of a fan of electronic dance music at that time, but it seemed like the appropriate atmosphere given its notoriety so my girlfriend and I gladly accepted the invitation. On the 40 minute car ride there, the roommate and her boyfriend proceeded to give us all the 'rave safety' basics (drink water, chew gum, etc.), and told us to just relax, enjoy the music, and not expect anything. Sure enough, we arrive at the scene and meet up with some of their friends and before I know it I'm tossing a little capsule full of white powder down the hatch.

About 30 minutes after we took them, one of the people in our group (who ultimately became a great friend) gave me and my girlfriend a 'light show' using a pair of LED gloves (anybody who has ever been to an EDM event will know what I'm talking about). I thought it was awesome, but I didn't necessarily attribute that to the MDMA, it was just a cool show regardless. But I distinctly remember looking over at my girlfriend sitting next to me and she had the biggest smile I think I'd ever seen, eyes wide and filled with a look of pure amazement. I asked her if she was feeling it and what it felt like and she said, 'I feel like I understand everything...' 'I feel like I understand everything...'